God Cures Millennium Bug
September 1998TEL AVIV, ISRAEL Analysts have been dumbstruck today by the surprise announcement by God that He has taken it upon Himself to rid the world's technology of problems relating to the change of century. The cure, dubbed GodPatch 1.0, is expected to be released early next week.
The 'fix' means all software and hardware which has limited two-digit date storage or contains incorrect leap year calculations will be divinely patched to work perfectly through, and after, the Year 2000.
"I will fix all your [Year 2000] problems and I will see it is good," God was reported saying.
God's emergence into the information technology industry has been a surprise for analysts, many of whom were expecting God to only enter the industry in late 2001, at the earliest.
A Netscape Communications spokesperson has expressed outrage over God's decision to implement the patch, claiming God is misusing His 'virtual monopoly' on the physical structure of matter, used by over 98% of businesses. Meanwhile Microsoft has downplayed the upcoming release. "Divine patching technology is still in its infancy. It may take several years before it gives us real-world solutions," Bill Gates said at a press conference today.
GodPatch 1.0 is expected to retail for $79.95.
GodPatch Causes Chaos
October 1998
The license agreement contained in
God's GodPatch 1.0 beta 1
WASHINGTON The Justice Department has launched an antitrust investigation into God's GodPatch product. GodPatch, which corrects Year 2000-related bugs, forces the end-user to accept God as their Lord and to agree to ten licensing terms or "commandments" in order to use the software, including an agreement to not have any other gods before Him, sources say. "This licensing term which is clearly a breach of antitrust laws," says one lawyer, who wishes to remain anonymous.
God has vigorously denied such allegations, saying His licensing agreement is fair and competition in the Y2K arena is healthy.